Where am I?

Co-worker #1, after 2-hour meeting: OK, I'm going to go eat. Are we meeting again in the afternoon, or are we done?
Co-worker #2: Actually, to be honest, we haven't even started yet.
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Co-worker #2: Do you understand Hindi?

Female Empowerment

Guy: If I was a woman, I'd be a hoe. I'd be the biggest prostitute ever.
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Chick: The skate party was a flop.
Guy: It wasn't a flop!
Chick: It was a flop 'cause I wasn't there.
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Chick: I can't go to Ghostbar with bottle service every week.
Guy: We don't go every week!
Chick: Well, I have the opportunity to go every week.

Flashes of the last few days

Scattergories - 'M' - Excuses for being late
Friend #1: Masturbation.
Friend #2: Murder.
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Guy #1: Do you want to get married?
Guy #2: To you?
Guy #1: No! Fuck you! Hell no!
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Friend #1: Are you going to miss Amy and Sue?
Me: Yeah. [pause] Well, I'm going to miss the possibility of Amy and Sue..
Friend #1: There was never really a possibility.
Me: Yeah.

Happy Hour quotables

Friend #1, to Friend #2: You're an unnecessary person.
Friend #3: That's a good description.
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Friend #3: You don't realize what you've done. You've gotten a bunch of introverts, who would rather sit at home on their computers, to come out and socialize. You're the center of this group. What are we gonna do without you?

You have more than one?

Me: So it looks like your girl's not coming.
Friend: She's with her father. [pause] Wait, which girl?
Me: I think you just answered that.

Georgetown is full of freaks

Random girl: Even more of a vampire validation.
Random girl's guy friend: Uh-huh.

Georgetown
Washington, DC

Pick-up line #1012

Friend #1: So Sue had a date tonight?
Friend's Girlfriend: Well, it wasn't a date. She went to dinner with a guy who makes his own lip balm and brews his own beer.
Friend #1: That's kinda weird.
Me: I wonder how that information even came out. Was that his pick-up line? "Hey, how's it going? I make my own lip balm."