Hot doesn't necessarily mean slow

Hot HR Lady: So what was your product at [company name]?
Me: We made slot machine games.
Hot HR Lady: Cool!
[several minutes pass with other questions about favorite project, desired work environment, etc.]
Hot HR Lady: What were you making at [company name]?
Me: Uh, we made slot machine games... you know, like the machines they have in casinos?
Hot HR Lady: No, in terms of salary...

A match made in heaven

Dude: I've been told I communicate like a woman.
Chick: I've been told I communicate like a man.
---------
Chick: In every relationship, I've been accused of being the man.

Guys can be petite?

Chick: I was afraid we wouldn't find any jeans in your size since you're so petite.

I actually said "Fuck you"

Manager: See ya, Sumeet!
Me, as the door closes: See ya!
Manager, opening the door: What did you say??
Me: I said see ya.. what did you think I said?
Manager: Something deragatory...

Can't we all just get along? I guess not...

Chick #1: I'm never hanging out with [Dude #1] again!
------------
Dude #1: Oh, by the way, I don't like [Chick #1] any more.
------------
Dude #1: [Chick #1] was acting like a fucking princess and you were indulging her!
Dude #2: Yeah, that's true.
Me: We're not doing this right now...

Me: Congratulations on your engagement.
Co-worker: Thanks.
Me: Have yall set a date?
Co-worker: It won't be for a year and a half to 2 years from now.
Me: Oh, does your fiancee want to finish school first?
Co-worker: She wants to get braces.

Shut up!

Friend: I like to think of this as the real world.
Stripper: In the real world, people don't come up to you and offer you lap dances.
Friend: I don't understand why not.
Stripper: Are you always like this?
Friend: Yes.
[after lap dance]
Stripper: You're a mess, but I like you.